Current mood:

touched

Birthday Surprises
Wow, I can't believe it. I actually had a great birthday. How was that possible? I sure as hell didn't expect much as this was the third year in a row that my birthday has been touched by death. So I really didn't expect much.

But, two of my LA brothers made a point of taking me out. I was trying to downplay the day, but they insisted. They got me little gifts and a rose and took me out for very yummy sushi. Later that night we went to the beach and recited Chapter Three (actually a conclusion of the other two chapters being read earlier in the weekend).

And then, H said something like this to me as we were coming back from the beach, It saddens him to hear stories from me where I feel that I'm not appreciated or noticed or valued. And that he wanted me to know that I am appreciated here, that I make a difference and I'm valued.

My heart bursts with the sweetness and simplicity of these actions and communications. I had said to myself that I wanted to "bring the Love" to the LA group and now I feel that "Success is my proof."

And thats not all.

Today I read my new friend, A's blog on Tribe. She acknowledged me as being a friend who wasn't afraid to speak the truth to her. She said I showed her how it is to be a Thelemite in this 2006 world. She said I shined bright and she dubbed me, "Starr."

I cried. I did. I didn't expect to be feeling this much love coming at me. Not with Robin gone. Not in a place like LA.

I guess I've found home.